HOME SCHOOLING

By choice or circumstance home schooling is not for everyone but Maisy and Nick Nicholaoau have found that it has been a blessing for their family and they share some of their reasons for doing it and the benefits they have received from it.

Home Schooling A few weeks ago I was on my way back from the Library with my daughter Olivia who is 8 and my son Marcus who is 4 when a lady at the bus stop asked me why Olivia was not at school. I mentioned with a smile on my face that she is home educated. The lady looked at me as if I had suddenly grown an extra head! We have become quite accustomed to this type of reaction but thankfully, we also receive many positive responses. For anyone who is considering home educating their children, or just curious to know more, we would like to share our experiences with you. We would like to emphasise from the outset that we do not wish to criticise schools or judge parents who choose to send their children to school. We understand that home education is not right for everyone and we have many friends whose children are a real witness to their classroom peers. However, for a number of reasons we believe that it is right for our family.

Olivia started school in 2005 and her experience of school life was relatively positive. She was quite happy to go to school and she made friends easily. However as the months went by Nick my husband, and I grew increasingly concerned, that during these crucial formative years of Olivia’s life other people would potentially have a greater influence on her than we would. God chose us to be Marcus’ and Olivia’s parents and to raise them, yet we felt that we were effectively passing a large chunk of this responsibility on to other people who may or may not be Christians. Also, as new Christians (I had followed an Alpha course at my Parish 2 years before) we were not sure how we would be able to instil the fundamental Christian values that we were discovering, on to Olivia when she would be away from us for so long each day.

We do not have a personal problem with schools or teachers. We feel that generally, they do an amazing job considering the challenges they face. However, we feel that the ever increasing move towards so called ‘political correctness’ is taking this society further and further away from the fundamental Christian values that children need to be exposed to in their early years (and beyond). It is also creating greater challenges for Catholic schools. For example, sex education - how can a Catholic teacher place God at the centre of her teaching when she is required to inform them about contraception or the morning after pill?

One of our other concerns was that we wanted to give our children the opportunity to learn and develop skills at their own pace. Children are expected to start school at four years old whether or not they are emotionally or socially ready. We wanted to try to give our children the freedom to develop academically, creatively and socially at their own pace (but with our close guidance), rather than having to fit into a standardised system that does not know our children as we know them. We also found that school life left very little time for family life. Nick would have 40 minutes a day with Olivia before she went to bed. Although she was only in Reception year, we struggled to protect our family time. Sometimes, she would be reading her school book in the bath just so that she could have extra time with Daddy.

Around the time when our concerns were growing, my friend Birgitte Carlsson (from the Cor et Lumen Christi Community in Chertsey, Surrey) mentioned that she and her husband had decided to home educate their children. My heart leapt in a way that it never had before. I spoke about it with Nick and although we felt it was right, the idea seemed so radical and daunting to us. We spent the next eight months researching it and praying about it. Throughout this time, we constantly came up with reasons why we should not do it. Our main concern was that neither of us are teachers and lacked the confidence to actually do the teaching. However, we always reached the same conclusion – that for our family, the advantages far outweighed the disadvantages. Once we made the final decision to home educate our children we felt a great peace come over us and the anxieties that we previously felt disappeared. It was clear to us that this was the Lord’s decision for our family.

As we mentioned earlier, we understand that not all families will choose, or be able to home educate their children. If they wish to share part of that duty with a Christian school, that is their choice. However, educating our children is the duty of the Christian family. In the Apostolic Exhortation, ‘Familiaris Consortio’ (Section II , 2. Education) the second Vatican Council states that “Since parents have conferred life on their children, they have a most solemn obligation to educate their offspring. Hence, parents must be acknowledged as the first and foremost educators of their children”. It also goes on to say that “The most basic element, so basic that it qualifies the educational role of parents, is parental love, which finds fulfilment in the task of education as it completes and perfects its service of life; as well as being a source, the parents’ love is also the animating principle and therefore, the norm inspiring and guiding all concrete educational activity...”.

It is true that Nick and I do not have the experience and skill of qualified school teachers. However, we know our children better than anyone else does. We know their quirky ways, their fears, struggles and joys. We can usually tell by looking at them how they are feeling. We know how different they each are and their learning styles. We can tailor our teaching style to suit their personalities, strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes. With time, they develop the confidence to learn in a familiar environment where they feel safe to admit their weaknesses and struggles, where they can be themselves and are free from peer pressure.

It is a learning process for all of us. We have been home educating Olivia for 3 years now and praise God, it is going well. As each year passes we enjoy it more learn more about how to do it and how not to do it. We make mistakes and ask the Lord to help us to learn from them. Olivia is generally a happy, peaceful and confident child and she enjoys home educating and all it has to offer. Marcus is still very young for any formal academic work we pray that his experience will be the same. We realise that there will be challenges and difficult times ahead. We ask God to be at the centre of all of it, down to the minute detail. We have built up a good network of home educating friends. It is very helpful and encouraging to speak to other parents who have been through the same experiences , or have older children and can offer advice for the future. Here in Surrey there is a large network of home educators and we frequently come across new families. We have not chosen a formal home education curriculum yet but there are many on the internet to choose from (including Catholic and general Christian ones). Some parents choose to start with a formal curriculum straight away and others wait until their children are older.

At present, our typical week consists of a few hours of building on the basics; reading, writing and maths. We then incorporate these topics in to any other areas that Olivia shows an interest in; science, cookery, geography, astronomy, history, art. This might take the form of a project, or a piece of Artwork, an experiment or simply reading and discussing. We usually go to Mass around 3 mornings a week. One of the children’s favourite groups is where they meet up with a large number of friends for French, a picnic and then an afternoon of lively praise and worship and Bible study followed by playing in the park. Another of their favourite groups is a beautiful and precious Catechesis session (based on the ‘Catechesis of the Good Shepherd’ programme) where they are later joined by some of their friends who go to school. Close friends are usually available for some social time. We go swimming every couple of weeks and Olivia also enjoys Music, sports and dancing classes. Educational and social trips are organised from time to time e.g. Nature Gardens, Museums (where we can have a guided tour), ice skating and theme parks. We also spend time with Grandparents and have time to feed the ducks or stay at home just to ‘be’. Nick also gets involved in the teaching as he comes home fairly early from work (he is an Accountant and Maths is my weakest subject!).

As the children get older we will adjust our schedule according to the amount of work they do and their individual needs and interests. A typical week varies for each family according to the number of children, the age of the children and family commitments. The great thing about home education is that you can tailor it to suit your family’s needs and circumstances.

Due to the lack of knowledge about Home Education it has sometimes been portrayed in the media as something done by ‘weird’ and extreme people. In our experience that is generally not the case. Neither is it about ‘wrapping our children up in cotton wool’. Of course it is important for children to be with other children and to develop social skills. However, they do not need to do that in an environment with the same 29 children every day for 30 hours a week. With the large number of Home educating networks available around the country, most children get more than enough opportunity for socialisation and parents are usually within reach to steer them in the right direction.

Disadvantages of home educating: Parents get a lot less free time. I spend a lot of time with or around my children. Organisation makes a big difference for me. Prayer time, housework, errands and time with other adults need to be organised and pre-planned. There are usually friends or family around to help if you really need to do something without the children. I am also very grateful to have my parents nearby. They are very supportive and helpful. Nick is also very supportive and gives me some time for myself at the weekend or the evening. Olivia and I have about an hour and a half of ‘quiet time’ most afternoons while my son sleeps and each of us has free time to do something quiet for ourselves.

When my son soon stops sleeping in the day time we will have the challenge of encouraging him to do the same(!). It is also financially challenging to home educate. Curriculums are often costly because most of them are shipped over from America. Also, living on one wage, we have had to make sacrifices. Our priorities have changed but we are happier for it and rely on God more than ever before. You need to be prepared to make the effort and get out and build a network of friends and social groups etc. If you are a bit on the shy side, don’t have transport , live in a remote area or your husband works very long hours, it can be very difficult and isolating.

Advantages: We have more time to get to know our children and build a stronger friendship with each of them. They have a stronger sibling relationship because they spend more time together and have more opportunities to develop mutual respect and tolerance. It encourages an ethos of service to one another in the home e.g. encouraging them to take responsibility for small but important household jobs so that we all rely on each other and work as a team. We also have time to develop basic life skills at an early age as they get involved in things such as cooking, gardening and organisation. Socialising with children of all ages encourages and develops greater respect and tolerance for each other. 5 year olds develop confidence playing or learning alongside a child of 10 years old and those older children develop respect for the younger ones as they are encouraged to help them. We spend more family time together in the weekday evenings because we do not have to fit in homework or after school activities. The children spend more quality time with their grandparents. There is more time and scope for learning - for example, you can extend your science, geography, nature etc from the books or computers to the real world and see it in action. If the session is going well you can keep going because you are not restricted by the bell. It takes a lot less time to do the work because you are dealing with a much smaller number of children and without the usual classroom distractions. Learning from home encourages greater freedom in thinking and working styles. Universities and Colleges welcome students who have been home educated because they demonstrate a high level of discipline and self motivation. We have the advantage of being able to go on day trips or holidays during term time when it is quieter and cheaper. Our lives have changed significantly over the past 3 years, largely due to home educating but primarily because of our faith. However, we can honestly say that in spite of the challenges we are much happier and thank God everyday for showing us that his grace is sufficient for us in raising the children that he has entrusted to us.

What to do if you wish to home educate your children: If he/she has already started school, you will need to write a letter to the Head Teacher notifying him/her of your decision. The Head Teacher will then notify the Local Education Authority (‘LEA’). If your child has not already started school, then you are not required to notify anyone. There are various advisory services and organisations you can access on the internet who will give you guidance and support. We are members of Home Education Advisory Service (HEAS). They provide regular comprehensive bulletins and a contact list of all home educators in the country who are registered with them.

Recommended reading for parents considering home education:

* The Apostolic Exhortation: Familiaris Consortio (Internet)

* The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook – Dr Raymond and Dorothy Moore

* Catholic Education: Homeward Bound.

* A useful guide to Catholic Home Schooling – Kimberley Hahn and Mary Hasson. (Ignatius press)

Contact the Home Education Advisory Service, PO Box 98, Welwyn Garden City, Hertfordshire AL8 6AN tel 01707 338467 www.heas.org.uk (Also see Notiboard page 34)

THE SPIRIT IS MOVING ALL OVER THE LAND

Everyone is remarking that there seems to be a fresh wind of the Holy Spirit moving at the moment touching people and bringing them to conversion and healing. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the numbers that are coming to Life in the Spirit seminars that are being run. See below.

Susan Sparkes, from St Edmund’s in Whitton, reflects on the high turn out for the Life in the Spirit seminars they organised in the Spring of this year.

I was profoundly changed by the Life in the Spirit Seminars I attended in Chertsey in 2006; in particular understanding just how much God loves me. 18 months later I woke up very early, feeling compelled to write to James Wilkinson, the organiser, to thank him. James rang and offered to run the seminars in my Parish, St Edmunds, in Whitton. Our Parish Priest, Fr Willie Skehan, immediately agreed, saying “I think The Holy Spirit is calling us”, despite not having attended any seminars himself.

During the ten months build up to the seminars I received incredible support from so many people involved in the Catholic Charismatic movement. I have a background in marketing so the only area I wasn’t daunted by was promotion. Actions included: a display board with speaker biographies and photos; colourful posters and handouts; advertising on line; speakers at each Mass, distributing literature via our primary school and the chaplains at Catholic secondary schools. I also asked anyone who enquired from another parish to be our “promotions agent” and sent them literature to distribute.

Parish events usually attracted 60 people. On the first night, over 160 people arrived and our church hall was full to bursting! We moved into the church for the remaining six weeks, and by week two had “found” eight additional group leaders to run our 16 small groups (yet another example of the Holy Spirit sending us what we needed). Over 240 people attended, over 100 from our parish, with another 28 parishes represented. Fr Willie attended each seminar, and was one of the first to be prayed with on the fifth night, which was very reassuring for anyone feeling unsure.

Numbers were the highest James has seen. After the seminars ended in June, we held a Mass of Thanksgiving and a number of parishioners have expressed the desire to be in a prayer group, which we have started. It’s an exciting time for the parish and I would urge anyone thinking it will be too big a task to run the seminars to trust that the Holy Spirit will send you all the help you need, and more! He did it for me.

LIFE IN THE SPIRIT SEMINARS

Tom Caluori from the Syndenham prayer group, in South London, shares what they are doing to promote the seminars this autumn in their group.

For some years now the Light of Christ prayer meeting in Sydenham has organised Life in the Spirit seminars. Over the years our promotion has tended to be a bit haphazard inviting friends and fellow parishioners through personal contact and trying to get a notice put in a parish newsletter. The Life in the Spirit Seminars are such a blessing, however, that we felt this year the Holy Spirit prompting us to really do much more promotion and prayer for them and reach out beyond our usual networks.

Already we are seeing some extraordinary results. First in our speakers, who were all free and willing to take part despite their busy schedules. We have a really good line up including Michelle Moran, Charles Whitehead, Kristina Cooper, David Payne, Fr Bill Keogh, John Vaughan Neil and Maria Toth. Then Gabriele at Goodnews has helped us design a very attractive and professional leaflet and poster. These flyers include a message of support from our area bishop, Pat Lynch, who has also promised to celebrate a Mass of thanksgiving at the end. Then Archbishop Kevin McDonald has agreed to let the fliers go out with the “Ad Clerum”, to all the clergy in the diocese so everyone will know about them. We also have got our prayer warriors on the case and many rosaries are being said for the seminars that the Lord would bring the people He is calling and touch them. Personal contact is, of course, often the most effective way of getting people to come, so we are also getting all our members to pray about whom they will invite this year. It is the Holy Spirit that will bring those He wants to come, but God can use our planning and organisational skills and we must do our part. As Damian Stayne of Cor et Lumen Christi has said “Let’s think big, talk big and act big”. If the Church is to be renewed, we must all do our part.

If you would like some fliers and come yourself write to: Light of Christ Seminars, c/o 101 Lingfield Crescent, Eltham, London SE9 2RQ.