|
The Other Half The Other Half
|
|
|
Recently I had a day with nothing planned so I was working at my computer when I heard the front door bell. When I opened the door I was surprised to see Jenny there and I’m afraid my reaction left a lot to be desired! “What are you doing here?” I asked, quite brusquely. Jenny almost took a step back and her beautiful smile wavered (a little). “Come to see you and Charles as arranged,” she replied. “But he’s not here – although I think he’s on his way home. Why didn’t you answer his e-mails, or his phone calls?” I’ve written all that because I’m really ashamed of my behaviour. It is so easy to be charm personified when everything is proceeding as expected and nothing unexpected happens. I discovered that day that the Lord’s presence is NOT always seen in me. I am certainly not love personified when caught unawares. So are most of my smiling friendly faces masks I wear? I don’t think so. I think the Lord really is seen in me sometimes because, for example, I know that I feel a surge of His love flowing through me when I meet others who love Him. Maybe I was getting a bit complacent and forgetting that it is the presence of Christ within who makes me “nice”. It’s no good thinking my own nature is reliable to react well in all circumstances. I can do nothing in my own strength. The confusion over Jenny’s visit was a communication problem (high tech failure!) and Charles arrived soon afterwards but I am SO aware that I had behaved badly. We had another meeting arranged for two days later and I was determined to shower her with love and appreciation – almost as embarrassing for her! That’s human nature, isn’t it? We get it wrong and our efforts at compensation, or a damage limitation exercise, can also be way off beam. No, the only way is to confess we are not perfect and to pray for help to let the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control) grow in our lives. I’ve prayed for that before and God answered by giving me plenty of opportunities to practise the necessary flavour (then it was “patience”) so I’m not sure which one will be His choice for me this time. Maybe love or joy or kindness. Maybe it’ll be goodness. Here’s a definition of goodness I often think of: “It is the impression a Christian makes as he moves on his way, blissfully unaware that he is reminding people of Jesus Christ.” I’d like to be more like that. There is no way I can manufacture it so I really have to pray – “Father forgive me. Jesus, don’t leave me. Holy Spirit, don’t give up on me but help me to be more like Jesus in my relationships with others. May your goodness grow in me so that I will neither hurt nor disappoint those I meet.” © Sue Whitehead
|
|
|
 |
