Over the years that the community has been involved at Sandymount we
have seen many people open themselves to the presence of God and experience
change within. This has happened at lots of different retreats including
those in which people gather to reflect on the Scriptures. Richard
Rohr, the American Franciscan, says that the Gospel has to happen
on the inside before it happens on the outside. The Scriptures are
to transform our inner beings and at Sandymount we try to give people
the time and space for the Spirit to work that miracle. One of the
people who comes regularly to the Scripture retreats is Teresa. This
is her experience:
"Sandymount House of Prayer in Blundellsands Crosby will always
be a special place for me because this is where I first began to truly
understand the phrase 'the living word of God'.
I remember when I booked into my first Scripture week 'A journey
into Mark's Gospel.' I went armed with pen and paper with great expectations
in becoming a scholar of Scripture. I thought the course would make
me more knowledgeable about the Scriptures, and that I would be able
to quote chapter and verse of Mark's Gospel.
What I experienced there was far greater than any intellectual knowledge
I had hoped to gain. The journey into Mark's Gospel became my own
personal journey into myself. As Fr. Chris began to break open the
Gospel I began to discover that my journey, my struggle, my pain,
my doubt as well as my longing and passion for God were much the same
for those for whom Mark had written hundreds of years ago.
My whole image of God was turned upside down. I heard that God was
present in all people and in all situations. Because of my experiences
throughout my childhood and teenage years I refused to accept that
God was always present, that God loved me unconditionally, that God
was not out to take advantage of me or hurt me. The word trust did
not enter my vocabulary. I could believe in a God in the clouds but
not in a God who was present in all people.
There are people in my life who I once trusted and loved and still
love. They took away my dignity, my self-respect and my self worth.
How could God love me? How could God be present in my shame and pain?
I wanted a God who was apart from people! Each day there was a question
time. I tried in vain to disprove what the Spirit had begun to reveal
to me through the Scriptures. I heard time and time again that God
is present even in the darkest moment and the strangest of people.
By
journeying through the Scriptures I began to journey into myself seeking
out the reasons why I could not accept that God loved me and was present.
This struggle went on for some time. Each time there was a Scripture
course I found myself there determined to have an experience of God,
which didn't involve people. Yet what was revealed to me over and
over again through the Scriptures was that primary way to experience
Jesus was by entering into relationship with another human being,
by taking up the challenge to trust another.
Slowly very slowly I began to share my life story with somebody who
listened without judging, who cared without wanting anything in return,
who loved me knowing all about me. That was when I began to understand,
believe and experience the love of God.
My whole image of God has changed. I am now able to acknowledge the
presence of God in a person's touch, a smile, a word and because of
this and the love of the community in which I pray, my dignity, self
respect and self worth is being restored.
The journey into the Scriptures does not end when I leave Sandymount.
It continues. Through Scripture I am able to hear what God is saying
to me. One of the most exciting parts of the journey is that I now
acknowledge the living word of God was written for me and that our
God is alive and kicking."
Teresa is not alone in her experience. Over the next couple of
issues of Good News we'll be looking at that living Word of God and
how it can help us open up to the power and the presence of God which
is all around us.
