The Cross of Christ Custom for Marriage
Sr Emmanuel, a French sister of the Beatitude community,
who lives in Medjujorje, shares one of the beautiful local customs regarding
marriage
 In
the town of Siroki-Brijeg in Herzegovina not one single divorce has
been recorded among its 13,000 inhabitants. Not one single family has
broken up in living memory. For centuries, because of the pressure of
the Turks and then the Communists, the people suffered cruelly as their
Christian faith was always threatened. They knew through experience
that salvation comes through the cross of Christ. That is why they have
indissolubly linked marriage to the Cross of Christ.. they have founded
marriage which brings forth human life, on the Cross, which brings forth
divine life. The Croation marriage tradition is so beautiful that it
is beginning to take hold in Europe and America too.
When a couple is preparing for marriage, they are not
told that they have found the ideal partner. No! What does the priest
say? "You have found your cross. And it is a cross to be loved,
to be carried, a cross not to be thrown away, but to be cherished."
I know if fiances were told this in my home country France, they would
be struck dumb. But in Herzegovina, the Cross represents the greatest
love and the crucifix is the treasure of the home.
When the bride and groom set off for the church, they
bring a crucifix with them. The priest blesses the crucifix, which takes
on a central role during the exchange of vows. The bride places her
right hand on the crucifix and the groom places his hand over heers.
Thus the two hands are bound together on the cross. The priest covers
their hands with his stole as they proclaim their vows to be faithful
according to the rites of the Church.
The bride and groom do not then kiss each other, they
rather kiss the cross. They know that they are kissing the source of
love. Anyone close enough to see their two hands joined over the cross
understands clearly that if the husband abandons his wife or if the
wife abandons her husband they let go of the cross. And if they abandon
the cross they have nothing left. They have lost everything for they
have abandoned Jesus. They have lost Jesus.
After the ceremony, the newly weds bring the crucifix
back and give it a place of honour in their home. It becomes the focal
point of family prayer, for the young couple believes deeply that the
family is born of the Cross. When a trouble arises or if a conflict
breaks out, it is before this cross that they will seek help. They will
not go to a lawyer, they will not consult a fortune teller or an astrologer,
they will not rely on a psychologist to solve the problem. No, they
will go straight before their Jesus, before the cross. They'll get on
their knees there and in front of Jesus they will weep their tears and
pour out their hearts, and above all exchange their forgiveness. They
will not go to sleep with a heavy heart because they will have turned
to Jesus, the only One who has the power to save.
They will teach their children to kiss the cross
every day and not to go to sleep like pagans without having thanks Jesus
first. As for the children, as far back as they can remember, Jesus
has always been the friend of the family, respected and embraced. They
say "nighty, night" to Jesus and kiss the cross. (As Fr Jozo
says "They go to sleep with Jesus, not a teddy bear") They
know that Jesus is holding them in his arms and that there is nothing
to be afraid of, and their fears melt away in their kiss to Jesus.
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