Written
above my desk is the following prayer -
I think that would be known as a contradiction of intent!
Of course I mean it when I acknowledge that my desire to organise
everyone around me - often to their annoyance - is a fault. On the
other hand, I feel that God has given me certain administration gifts
and I want to use them for Him. Is this a problem? Not for Him, only
for me!
I am grateful that grace builds on nature, but sometimes our nature
needs purifying first. If I try to take over because I feel it's only
my way which is right - that's obviously wrong. But if I'm prompted
to suggest an alternative, and then be relaxed if it's refused, I
think that's OK. It really is quite hard to know what my motive is
- and I'm glad you won't read this until after Celebrate when my "suggestions"
will have been multiple! I needed my friend Anne to turn to me during
registration last year and say "I really can do this on my own,
you know." (And she was so right).We often don't even know when
we're being a problem - that's why God has given us friends and families
who love us enough to tell us.
I don't think I'm alone in this quandary of mixed motives although
other people might have different examples of "nature changing"
needed.
I have enough of a problem dealing with my own than to worry about
yours, but it certainly is a salutary exercise to consider how God
sees our actions - are they truly done out of love for Him and those
around us or are they done out of our own capabilities and pride?
Interesting question to leave with you, as I turn my attention to
Charles' office. Would I dare?!!
Sue Whitehead
