| THE WAYS OF THE LORD
Christopher O'Donnell, O. Carm., a Carmelite priest and experienced retreat master, based in Dublin, continues his articles on spiritual direction and how the Lord guides us
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People can be very worried about whether they are open to God's way for them. We can avoid anxiety on this matter if we try to surrender ourselves to the Lordship of Jesus, and if we trust that God will reveal his will at the appropriate time. Then it is up to God. We do not whisper to somebody whom we know to be hard of hearing. We speak with sufficient clarity. God is well aware of our deafness, of our obtuseness. So if he wants us to do something, it is up to him to speak in a way that we can hear and understand. If we try to keep our ears really open, God will see to it that we hear his word. Interpreting God's Word But since God's ways are not our ways, it can be difficulty to grasp the divine message. Indeed we may hear God speaking but misinterpret his message. St. Francis of Assisi heard a crucifix speaking: "Go repair my house for it is falling down." Obedient to the word he heard, he began to repair ramshackle churches. He was, however, to learn that the house God meant was his Body, the People, the holy Catholic Church. God may call a person to a contemplative life. They may interpret this genuine vocation as indicating life in a contemplative monastery, whereas it may be a charge to be occupied with a deep prayer life where they find themselves. In these two cases God is speaking and calling. The person accepts, but misinterprets God's meaning. And there are many such problems in discernment and in our discipleship. When there are major decisions to be made, we need some kind of guidance. There are many spiritual directors around. Some people have this as a special ministry in the Church, and they can expect to be supported in this calling by appropriate remuneration. Where there is a question of payment, the person should have proper training and perhaps nowadays carry insurance indemnity. Others have special gifts in this area, but it may not be a public or paid ministry. Mutual Respect The spiritual director is not a figure of authority. Nor is she or he a therapeutic counsellor. The Celtic spiritual tradition has a fine name: anam cara (“soul friend”). The director is one who will listen to me, and with me seek also to listen to the Holy Spirit. The relationship with a director needs to be a friendly one. But there is need also for mutual respect. The director needs to identify and to respect the place where the person is who is seeking advice. A good guide will also recognise the spiritual path along which the Lord is leading a person. The director also has to respect the pace at which a person is likely to grow. Some problems can be solved very quickly; others take years, even decades. The director needs patience, and must not impose his or her own spirituality much less their impatience on another. There is also need for respect on the part of the one who is seeking advice. I need to have trust in a director, so that I will be willing to accept both encouragement and correction. Sometimes I can be reluctant to hear something nice about my situation; sometimes I can resent being told that I am acting foolishly. A prominent figure in the early days of the Charismatic Renewal used to speak humorously about two ministries: the laying on of hands and the laying on of feet. The spiritual guide should not be overly intrusive or directive, but mere passive listening may not always be enough. Correction with love is a New Testament value and service. Jesus spoke of it in the Christian community (see Matt 18:15- 18). It has always featured in the older religious orders, but is not so highly regarded today. Here again political correctness has intruded into spirituality. The need for mutual respect is just one issue in choosing a director. Both persons have to be able to relate in a healthy way. Just as one can find two nice fine people who should never attempt marriage, so there can be excellent directors who might not suit me. The fact that the director and the directee do not click and should not continue discussion is not an indication that there is any fault on either side. The matters that we discuss in spiritual direction are so sensitive and at times so intimate that both parties must be at ease in meeting. It may therefore be better to have a few trial talks with a person before asking them formally to be a director. Agreement The same scripture passage gives a valuable guide to discernment in spiritual direction. When I approach a spiritual director, I am above all seeking to know God’s ways. We can have some certainty that we have together heard the voice of God when we are gathered in Jesus’ name and we agree on some matter (see Matt 18:19- 20). If there is not such peaceful acceptance of an idea or plan by both persons, either immediately or soon after the meeting, one would be well advised not to proceed for the moment. An idea may be difficult and challenging, but it can bring its own peaceful certainty to both the seeker and the soul friend. One does not have to agree with the director, but some caution is needed, and some questions need to be asked, when we find we disagree. The task of the director is to help the other person to make sense of their lives, to be alert to what God may be saying or doing. The area of direction is not only prayer, but also should deal with the integration of a person’s whole life. The spiritual person today is one who indeed prays, but also relates prayer to life, action to contemplation and faith to justice. Nothing less is needed on the part of a good director.
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God's
thoughts are not our thoughts; God's ways are not our ways (see Isaiah
55:8). It is vital that we learn his ways. The Old Testament priest
Eli told the boy Samuel how to respond to God who seemed to be waking
him up from sleep in the Temple. Samuel was to say, "Speak Lord
for your servant is listening" (1 Sam 3:9). This has been a model
for all who came after. It is simple: God speaks, we listen. One of
the ways that God uses to help us to grasp God's way is other people.
We need help for how can I be sure that it is God who is speaking.
Maybe I am imagining it? Maybe some other spirit is speaking?
