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Motherhood & Mysticism Elizabeth Wang, who is responsible for the painting on our front page cover, is an artist and a mystic: Her paintings are based on images that God gives her in prayer. She is also a wife and mother of three grown up children. Below she shares how, through her life, she has combined these three callings
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Be reconciled I was 21 when I first started to take my Christian faith seriously and I found out what life in Christ meant and how we should live. I became much more aware of my own sinfulness, but coupled with this I knew that if I confessed my sins, I could rely on Jesus in the sacraments to help me to change. Shortly before I was received into the Catholic Church I had a vision of Christ. He came to comfort me. I saw myself standing in a very grubby dress. I realised that I had never repented or dealt with the past and Jesus was asking me to be reconciled, give up my sins, and pray regularly. If I did this, he promised, my life would change. And it did. My faith became something that affected every area of my life, from my attitude to my husband and children, to my priorities and how I spent my leisure time. Even as a committed Christian, there is always a temptation that we keep these little bits of our lives back because we don't have enough faith that we can have total happiness if we give our lives to God. Putting the children first As a convert I was bursting to show other people the wonder of Catholicism, but because of my situation I could only do it in very limited ways. As a young mother, although I was able to stay at home and look after the children full time, life was very exhausting as for periods we also looked after one of Kin's parents and my mother, until they died. Coupled with this I had suffered from bad health since I was 19. I was eventually diagnosed with Multiple Scleroris and would have times when I was very weak, although I was never paralysed. Although I loved my painting, I had to put it on the back burner because I felt I needed to put my children first. You can't say to another human being, "go away because I am busy with this picture." At the same time, I always knew at the back of my mind that my painting was somehow important and that one day I would paint again. And as the children got into their teens I did find myself with a bit more time and began to paint again. I've always simply painted what's in front of me. That's why I have done portraits and still life. I had some success and several pieces were accepted at London exhibitions and gradually I got a reputation as a professional artist. My spiritual life however was very dreary. I presumed that this was my lot. I expected to simply plod along like this for the rest of my life, knowing that the important thing was simply to be faithful.
Tempted to give in to despondency There came a day, however, when I was in my 40s. It was in 1985 and I was at my lowest point. I was very ill and tired and tempted to give into despondency. But as I refl ected on my life and its purpose I realised the truth that love is self-giving, so I simply said to God, "If you want me to live like this for the rest of my life, I accept it." In that moment Christ appeared to me and it seemed as if he lifted me up into heaven. He told me that the dark days were over and he began to teach me and tell me about the special mission he was preparing me for. Images of "glory" and "darkness"
The Lord has given me a whole picture catechism
I believe that we should have more images and statues in our churches. Many have been stripped almost bare and look like council meeting chambers, with nothing that lifts the heart and mind to God visually. We can learn a lot from the Orthodox church in this, particularly in the way they give reverence to the altar and the inner sanctum, with gold and icons. By symbols of the Holy Trinity and the Saints and Angels, the congregation is reminded that they are participating in a heavenly liturgy. We need symbols
I believe God has picked me for this task although I'm a very weak person and not good precisely because he wants to give hope to other weak people. He knows that people might find it hard to accept things from a superwoman, but when it comes from someone who has had years of sickness and difficulties, who is an ordinary person, a full time mum, they can see that Christ calls everyone to serve him in some way and no one is excluded. Leaving a vision of Our Lady to do the washing up I remember one time, back in 1990, I had an apparition of Our Lady
while I was praying. I shared all my worries with her. After a time,
though I realised that the family would be coming back soon and the
kitchen was a pigsty. It didn't seem right that they should suffer
because I was praying. So I asked Our Lady if it was alright to go
and clear up the kitchen. It was amazing because as I Having one's priorities straight
Christ has shown me that he is madly in love with all of us, whether we are good or bad. He just wants to make us happy. He has shown me that when we have entirely surrendered to him, he can lead us to the work that we are most perfectly designed for from the beginning. From early on I knew that God wanted me to share what he was teaching me with others but I didn't quite know how to do this. He eventually asked me to write it down and have a simple little booklet printed about holiness and heaven and hand it out to people I knew. What will people think? I knew I needed to get the content discerned, but it took all my courage to go and see my parish priest and ask his help. I was worried about what he might think. But he sent it to be examined by a Jesuit he knew. It was found to be without doctrinal error and once it was approved I handed it out to friends and neighbours. This was very difficult, as I have always had a fear of being pointed at or being thought odd in any way. A few people were deeply touched by the contents but others were embarrassed and some never came near me again. Over the years, however, Christ has been clarifying for me what he has called me to do. Part of this is to set up a movement called Radiant Light. The three planks of this movement are the call to be reconciled with God, the importance of listening to the teaching authority of the Ch urch and of putting Christ at the centre of our lives, particularly through devotion to him in the Holy Eucharist. Support of family in mission I have been blessed to have the support of the family in all this. My husband has been very helpful and so have all three children. My daughter has looked after the house so I've been able to write and paint full time over the last two years. The numerous books I have written are available from various Catholic book shops, as well as through the Radiant Light Company that the family have set up to promote its work and message. These last few years have involved a lot of work with few apparent results. All of this, however, I believe is simply to test my faith. I'm doing it because the Lord has asked me to and he has promised that it will be of great help to the Church, so I don't worry too much about what people think. I might not even be around to see the results, but I believe the Lord will send others to continue when I'm gone.
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I
come from an Anglican background. I was a bit rebellious in my teens
but then I found the Roman Catholic Church. I had been told that it
was full of bad superstitious people stuck in medieval ways who had
a foreign pope telling them what to do all the time. But when I started
reading what it taught I found something completely different. I have
always been interested in truth, and now I found a living, vibrant,
authoritative body given by Christ that had the authority to teach.
It all made sense to me and I went all by myself to the local Catholic
church and asked to become a Roman Catholic. By this time I had married
my husband Kin, whom I had met when I was training as a nurse. Kin
was a devout Anglican, who preferred not to have the children brought
up as Roman Catholics. I accepted the situation, as I wanted to honour
my husband and I put the whole situation into God's hands. Interestingly,
however, as my children all grew up, each one in turn has chosen as
an adult to become a Roman Catholic themselves. They are all committed
in their faith. My eldest son Stephen is a priest for the Westminster
diocese, Christopher works in computers and has a band, and Mary,
my daughter is involved in the Vocations Group for Women. God further
blessed me, in that four years ago, my husband too, became a Roman
Catholic. This is wonderful as now we can go as a married couple to
Mass every morning in our parish in Harpenden. 
The
Lord has taught me so much. One day I was sitting in church after
Mass, asking him about the best way of praying, and I heard him say
simply, "By the sacrifice of your own will". His wisdom
took my breath away. The way we pray is affected by what we do outside
prayer. If we surrender to him in our everyday life, our unity in
prayer will be immediate and effective. On the other hand we can become
so hooked on the pleasure of prayer that we can neglect our responsibilities.
I couldn't go to daily Mass for years because I knew it would mean
missing breakfast with the children. And my vocation is to be a family
woman, not a religious. The Lord wants us to have our priorities straight.
Unity with God is not simply about spending time on your knees, He
wants us to surrender our whole lives to him. The sacred and mystic
are interwoven in every day things such as feeding your children breakfast
or helping an aged relation. Going out to a choral concert or simply
having a good evening in the pub can be God's will for us, and an
occasion of grace. 
In
fact, I'm longing to see God face to face. This earth is just the
beginning. It's the next step that counts and we should all be getting
ready to meet him and longing to do so. The Lord we meet in prayer
here on earth, is ready to meet us on the other side. I feel the Lord
is calling me to remind others of the importance of daily repentance
and of always being ready to die by putting right what is wrong in
our lives. We don't do this by will power but by repenting and putting
our trust in God's grace and forgiveness. 
