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Big Boys don't cry! Fr Chris Thomas, a speaker at the Stonyhurst Men’s weekend and a member of the Emmaus Family of Prayer, writes about the importance of Male Spirituality
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Fear of standing against the tide Those in the men’s groups that I’ve worked with are becoming more and more aware of the necessity to know their inner being, their spiritual centre. Too often that which is essential for real life is hidden away behind a perceived need for power and success. It’s hidden away because of cultural expectations and our own fear of standing against the tide. Very often to be in touch with our spiritual centre is to let go of much of what the world expects of us. I was reading recently Richard Rohr’s book ‘The Wild Man’s Journey’. It begins with a warning to only take the journey into discovering the spiritual centre if you want to change and are willing to be challenged. If you’re not prepared for that then don’t journey and discover. If you want to discover what it means to be human and alive then embark on the process. One of the first steps that we have to make is to recognise that within us there is both male and female. Within men the male dimension of our inner being often dominates the female part of our inner being. Psychologists tell us that the brain is divided into two parts. The left brain is in charge of the male aspect of our spirit. It deals with realities like logic, language, clarity, organisation and order. The right brain has the power of creativity, intuition, understanding, feeling, and relationship. That’s the feminine aspect of our spirit. Importance of integrating the masculine and the feminine sides of the person For many men the journey has to be initially into the feminine. Some say it’s the journey of John the Beloved, the one who wasn’t frightened to lay his head on Jesus breast. Many men are so left brained that it’s frightening. It’s very challenging for men to discover their caring sensitive side and not to try and sort things but to stand along side others. However there is a danger that in discovering this caring sensitive side some men might want to stay there because it’s a good place to be. So there is another journey back into the deeply masculine where the rediscovery of the power of action is necessary. But it happens in the light of the discovery of the feminine. This is powerful stuff, which only happens within those who want it to happen but which brings life and life in its fullness. The spiritually whole person is someone who integrates both the masculine and the feminine dimensions of the human spirit. Isaiah has it right when he says the lion will lie down with lamb. It’s the person who is on the journey to wholeness who will make the most powerful witness to the inner liberation that the Gospel promises those who follow the master. After all, Jesus is the model for the spiritually whole person. Within him you find someone who is completely integrated alive to the feminine and the masculine within him. If you’re a man reading this then try and find a group of men who are willing to journey and discover together and join them. If you’re a woman reading this then you too have to make the journey towards wholeness in your way and if you can find a group of women to help you then do it. It will bring you life. For details of men’s groups round the country
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Over
recent months I’ve become more and more aware of the amount of
work that’s being done on male spirituality and the numbers of
people who are being touched by that work. All over the world groups
of men are coming together to pray, to think and to try and get in touch
with themselves in what is often a confusing and dysfunctional world.
It’s sometimes difficult for men to understand themselves and
to know how to be a man. It’s easier to take refuge in the stylised
macho image of what a man is than to journey and discover. The word
‘spirituality’ is often confused because it has overtones
of Religion. There is a presumption that spirituality is about Church
or about saying prayers. It’s something that for many people is
divorced from the human. Sadly Spirituality for many is something we
do rather than something we are. 
