|
A Husband's Story
It can be difficult when one partner in the marriage comes to living a faith in Christ and the other does not. Paul Mason a business man explains how his wife led him to deepen his relationship with Christ
|
|
I grew up in a mixed denomination family with a Roman Catholic father and Church of England mother. My mother was not a church goer (she attended services at Christmas and Easter) but she took her promise to bring up their children as Roman Catholics very seriously and she saw to it that my father took us to Sunday Mass. However that was the extent of our “family” worship. Rules & Religion At the age of seven I was placed in a private Catholic preparatory school and graduated from there to a leading Catholic public school. Both of these institutions required regular Mass attendance from their pupils and the use of sacraments was encouraged, but I do not recall at any time when I was alerted to the fact “religion” could be a living force in my life rather than a good set of rules to live by. Thus at the age of eighteen when I started work in London I believed in God, I believed that Jesus was the Son of God and the Second Person in the Holy Trinity, and I had a vague idea of the Holy Spirit but had very little idea of what his part in things was. My faith consisted of trying as best I could to obey the rules I learned growing up, and attending Mass. In hindsight, obeying the rules served me quite well. Weekly attendance at Mass provided me with a regular reminder of
“the right way to live” that kept me out of serious sin
at a time in life when it is easy for a young man, away from those
who know him, to deny God and investigate the pleasures of the world. Good Catholics? After our marriage my wife and I left England for the Caribbean and we behaved as most young couples do who think they are “good Catholics”. God was in our family but rather as an accessory who was called upon in times of need but left alone when things were going well. What was different about us from most young couples, though, was the fact that we were unable to have children. This did not bother me too much since I never sought responsibility and restrictions and I felt we were quite happy as we were. After six years of marriage my work took me to the Republic of Panama where it became clear my wife was going through premature menopause. The symptoms were quite severe but I have to admit that I was hardly sympathetic and saw this as an inconvenience rather than cause for concern and saw no reason why I should change my working habits (I regularly worked 10-12 hour days six days a week) and show concern for my wife. I did not realise that my lifestyle and our failure to have children was causing real unhappiness for my wife. God bless her, rather that rail at Him for His obvious refusal to answer her prayers, she sought a deeper relationship with God and began to seek Him out and invite Him into 13her life. Actually, as she grew in her relationship with Him and I ran my life much as before, I became rather miffed at her. She attended prayer meetings and, I felt, less than subtle pressure put on me to do the same. I grudgingly started going with her once in a while and even took a Life in the Spirit Seminar just to keep her quiet. I did not really like her “religious” friends much and blamed them for encouraging her to seek God as a real Person who is interested in everything we do. The whole idea was far too radical for me! Well, over time we attended various retreats as well as the prayer meetings and seminars, and I began to form a different view of Jesus. I remember my wife once chastising me for a remark I had made stating that some great statesman had probably affected history more than any other person. She informed me that Jesus is the CENTRE of history and that it was his death on the Cross for our sins that is the most significant thing to happen in the whole of time. It made me think, and I began to see my relationship with Jesus change. I realised that He is a living God and that in the Holy Spirit we have the means to KNOW and understand his love for us. It began to dawn on me that Jesus would have died on the cross even
if I had been the only person in the world. He died for me. In spite of new understanding I was still not ready to allow Jesus into all corners of my life, and the seriousness with which my wife approached building her relationship with Jesus was difficult for me to take. So irked did I become that I felt it necessary to raise ‘annoyance with my wife’ in Confession. The priest in question was no ‘charismatic’ - in fact he was quite the opposite - but his answer to my anger was to ask me to consider whether I too could really invite Jesus to be a constant part of my life. This priest, through the sacrament of Confession, turned on a light bulb in my head, triggered a softening of my heart, and inspired me to recognise what a selfish Christian I had been. Stepping Out With the change, attendance at prayer meetings and church services with my wife became a joy not a chore. The Scriptures took on new meaning and I realised that Jesus needs us to proclaim Him and to witness to his love. This does not mean that I suddenly rushed out to tell everyone about this new dimension in my life (I was and generally still am far too cautious for that), but I was emboldened. One Sunday we were returning to our fourth floor walk-up apartment in Panama City when I noticed that the door of the flat below us was open. I knew the inhabitants (an elderly couple) by sight and had occasionally chatted briefly with the wife when passing on the stairs. She would tell me about how her husband was suffering horribly from back pain and how bent over the pain made him, and that no medical treatment seemed to have any effect. On this day my wife and I decided to poke our heads in the door and enquire after their health. There sitting bent over in an armchair was the husband and he was clearly suffering. To my own surprise, I strongly sensed that if I would step out and overtly pray over him in the name of Jesus this man would be relieved of his present pain. I KNEW this would happen, and I knew that it was disobedient of me if I did not do it. I asked them if I could pray over him and they agreed without hesitation. Placing my hands on his shoulders, as I prayed aloud the old man stood up straight and declared that he was no longer in pain. I belive that the relief from the pain was a gift to him from the Lord to encourage him (and me) in our faith. He didn’t leap around or do anything dramatic but the obvious improvement and relief from pain was awe-inspiring. I am happy to report that Jesus has been my friend and support for many years now and I bless my wife for it.
|
My
name is Paul Mason. I am 55 years old, and as a young man I trained
to be an accountant. It has been a long time since I have practised
accountancy but I have used that professional discipline to reasonably
good effect in a business life that has taken my wife and I to far
flung corners of the world.
