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DOOR TO A NEW LIFE
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I still managed to hold down a job, however, and worked in retail sales. Iwould stay alert in the day by taking amphetamines and cocaine, then in the evening I would go full blown with heroin and other things, and then take Valium to sleep. Eventually I learnt how to talk the doctors into giving me what 1 needed. All my emotions by this time were controlled by drugs and I progressed to harder and harder drugs as time went on and became a dealer after work to help supply my habit. "All my emotions were controlled by drugs" I always felt I could handle it, but eventually I got sacked when I was stoned and got abusive to a customer and I was sent to jail for supplying cannabis. This didn't help as there was a good supply of drugs and alcohol in there as it was a semi-open prison. People would go out on day release to college courses and they would be used as carriers to bring the stuff back. The prison officers turned a bit of a blind eye with cannabis as long as you didn't smoke in front of them and there weren't many searches. In fact, men in their 40s who had never taken drugs before, would start taking stuff in prison simply because of the boredom and the availability of it. When I got out I went back to work. I was good at sales but was always losing jobs and then getting myself back on my feet again and working my way up to being manager again. I did a bit of dealing to supply my habit but I learnt how to talk the doctors to give me most of the stuff I needed on prescription. I was arrested six times for crimes while "under the influence", but I always managed to talk my way out of things, and 1 didn't have to go back to prison, but life wasn't going well for me. Upper room in Open Door Charity Shop I got married and had a child, but got divorced and I
had a couple of nervous breakdowns. I realised 1 had to stop the heroin,
and once when I was in Norwich hospital due to a breakdown. 1 took the
opportunity to detox while I was there, but as soon as I got out and
1 went and got stoned again. I tried six times to detox and get off
heroin. The final time my doctor gave me the drugs I needed to come
off, and I locked myself in my house for ten days. But then I went from
illegal substances to legal ones and just got drunk instead and used
prescribed drugs like Valium and sleeping pills. Eventually t was sick and tired of being sick and tired and I felt suicidal. I knew I needed something more in my life. After breaking down in my counsellor's room I was advised to go to AA, which I did. Here I met a guy who told me about the Open Door and Billy McCallion, the guy who ran it. Open Door tries to help people in trouble like me. So I went to see him and asked if 1 could help in the shop a |g|j I like to keep busy. Billy told me that Jesus loved me and I needed to get on a spiritual pump if I wanted to go forward. I told him that God had forgotten about me. He said, it was the other way round and I had forgotten about the Lord. Anyway I started going round to help in the shop and going to my AA meetings. "I have never felt so much love and peace in my life" Then in August Billy asked me i I would like to go with him and his family to New Dawn, a charismatic conference in Walsingham. I didn't quite know what it would be like but I decided to go anyway. It was a totally mind blowing and eye opening experience for me. I have never felt so much love and peace in all my life I could see the people all around me had something I wanted. New Dawn was my first experience of anything Christian like that. The healing ceremony in particular really broke me down. I could feel that there was something out there. I couldn't doubt any more and I could feel the change in myself. It was wonderful too to feel part of Christian family, like Billy's - to feel for the first time that I belonged somewhere. "I am loved, I am worthy and I can be part of society" I knew I had to surrender my life to God. When I came back I wanted more and I went to the Youth2000 conference a few weeks later, and then Open Door sponsored me to go to a Cursillo course in Ireland with Billy. Cursillo was the most spiritual event I have ever been part of. It confirmed everything for me, that I am loved and I am worthy and I can be part of society. Part of me had always felt not good enough and to see Christ in other men was amazing. Now it seems like everything has changed. I even get on better with my ex-wife. Before we were always head to head but now we are best of friends. It is hard to believe at times how things have changed. My family at first couldn't believe it, but now they can see that it isn't just a phase and I have changed and I'm sober. As well as AA, I now go regularly to the prayer group at St Mary's church in Yarmouth, which Billy introduced me to, and this Easter I'm going to be confirmed into the Catholic Church. Billy is going to be my godfather. All the negative things in my life have been turned around. I believe everything happens for a reason and I can now help those I meet who are in the same situation that I was. The Upper Room at the shop At the Open Door Shop we have a special prayer room, which we call the Upper Room. We light a candle here every day and say a prayer for those in need. If people are feeling a bit upset or need a bit of counselling they come up here. Often people come to buy a bit of second hand furniture or something, but when you are talking to them they will tell you their troubles and we can take them to the chapel and listen to them or pray for them. As soon as they come in they can feel it is a holy place and they relax. Things are a bit difficult at the moment, because funds are running low and we didn't get the lottery grant we expected. If Open Door closes, it will be devastating for all who use the project and for us volunteers. The majority of us have problems of some kind and helping out is a way of moving forward, because everyone needs to belong and to help others rather than just looking inward all the time and thinking of your own problems. We are all praying that God will intervene and do something. I know Open Door has helped change my life and is important for so many vulnerable people. OPEN DOOR
Open Door started as a the simple ' Lenten commitment
of Billy and Lesley McCallion to fast for one day a week and give
the food to someone who needed it more. Since that day, six years
ago, what grew into the Open Door Project, has fed the needy in Great
! Yarmouth every Wednesday. The I numbers have grown dramatically
from five on that first night to an average of ninety today.
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I
had my first taste of cannabis and alcohol when I was 14 years old.
As a teenager because of family problems I felt empty and not loved
and I felt like I had no feelings and wasn't really living. Drugs made
me feel better - feel something - and it started me on a whole way of
life that made me dependent on drugs.
