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Is It Possible?
Kristina Cooper introduces the first article in a series looking at how as Christians we try to live out Catholic sexual moral teaching in our society today |
Sexual
Purity|
This can be very difficult for all kinds of reasons. We are none of us perfect and we all have our histories and personalities, and in the area of our sexuality, some people will have more struggles, temptations and difficulties than others. Sometimes too as Catholics, we are pretty hazy about what the Church teaches. Papal encyclicals and documents tend to be written in rather legal religious language, which not many people can be bothered to read, so we tend to rely instead on what others tell us about it. This can often be a bit of a hit and miss situation. The Church understanding of the sex too has changed over the centuries. There is a world of difference from the rather negative view of it that St Augustine bequeathed to the Church, stemming from his own struggles with sexual temptation, and the much more nuanced and inspiring theology of the body developed by the current pope, John Paul II. Some parents, teachers and priests do a very good job of communicating the beauty of Church teaching, others find it all a bit too embarrassing or have their own problems with it, and so are not in the best place to enthuse about it to others. The pulpit too, is also not always the most appropriate place to deal with this area of the Church's teaching, because of the pastoral dimensions of the topic and there are often few other forums where it can be discussed. We need the support and witness of others
to live effective Christian life I was very struck by the witness of some young people, from a small town in the Texas Bible Belt, who were quizzed in a Channel 4 documentary about their attitudes to sexual purity. The programme makers obviously thought the emphasis on sexual abstinence before marriage, promoted by the local churches, was very tyrannical. And they tried to illustrate this by showing that this caused guilt among young people, and sexual problems later on. They thus followed a young couple, who were both virgins, in the days before and after their wedding. The young pair were questioned about their fears and expectations of marital sex and quizzed as to how they had managed to restrain themselves during their courtship. Their shiny faces and honest answers were a tribute to them. They were equally themselves when interrogated on how their wedding night had been. The boy was quite effusive, the girl was a little more down to earth. "It felt very natural," she said. "And we will have the rest of our lives to practice and get better. I thought it was really good for the first time." Her answer said it all, sex for her was not simply about instant personal pleasure but about a commitment to a person and a long term relationship of trust and intimacy with the man who was her husband. Witnessing about our sexuality makes us feel vulnerable Witnessing in this very intimate area of sexuality can be embarrassing and make us feel very vulnerable. Maybe, however, it is something that it is important for us to do, and part of our call to evangelise the culture. For this area of life is something our highly sexualised society, is interested to know about, and we have experiences to offer them, even in our struggles. I know I was slightly taken aback when one of the first questions the teenage boys from my estate wanted to know about me, when they found out I was a Christian, was whether I believed in sex before marriage or not, and whether I was a virgin myself. When I was a teenager, I had backed away from these kind of situations, fearful that I would be ridiculed, so it was ironic that in middle age. God was giving me another opportunity to stand up for my beliefs. I could see they were quite shocked that I answered them instead of brushing it aside. I was probably the first adult they had ever met who held these views and practised them. One of the girls there commented quietly "that's dead good." I sensed a kind of unspoken respect among them all too that I had shared something so personal with them. I wouldn't be surprised if this, and my hospitality in welcoming them into my home, is what they see as defining me as a Christian. One boy in fact quizzed me as to whether all Christians were virgins before they got married and thought the same as me. I felt sad to think I couldn't say "yes". But I know how easy it is to want to fit in. I remember when I was at university in the late 70s going, with a couple of trendy London friends, to a late night show given by the Royal Shakespeare Company. It was called "Hamlet on Ice" and was a vulgar retelling of the famous play - full of crude inuendo and cross dressing. I was appalled but not wanting my friends to think I was a Catholic prude, I laughed heartily at all the jokes along with the rest of the audience. It was the RSC after all! I was chastened to find as we walked home, however, that my friends had actually found the play as distasteful as I had, only having less hang ups than me, they hadn't felt the need to feign enjoyment. And so often this can happen to us Christians - in our desire to fit in, we end up compromising our values and beliefs, only to find there is perhaps more support for them than we realise. Even when we fail to live up to our beliefs
we can still witness to Christian principles In the coming issues of Goodnews people will be sharing their
stories of how they are trying to follow Christ in dealing with their
sexuality in all its different aspects and how as Christians they
have coped with thorny sexual ethical situations that come about in
family or social situations.
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