For those of us without this charism we are still called to make a
real effort to be welcoming. This can be difficult in large groups
such as the parish or prayer group where everyone should be responsible
for making new members feel welcome, accepted and comfortable.
When you have been in an established group for some time you can
forget how it feels to be new and how difficult it is to integrate
into a strange gathering. We need be aware of this and to regularly
look at how welcoming our groups are and how we are perceived by newcomers.
Below are some questions to ask ourselves:-
In the Parish:
1. Someone moves into your parish. How easy
is it for them to find the Mass Times?
a) The Church is well sign-posted with Mass times prominently displayed
outside.
b) There isn’t a sign-post from the main road but most people
find it.
c) There is a sign if you know where to look for it.
d) Mass times are displayed on an A4 sheet on the front door.
e) Mass times are displayed in the porch but the door is usually locked.
f) Everyone knows when the Masses are so we don’t bother displaying
them.
2. You meet someone at Sunday Mass who says
they have just moved into the area. Do you?
a) Throw a party for them and invite lots of Catholic friends.
b) Invite them round for a cup of coffee and a chat.
c) Look for someone in the parish who has time to “befriend”
them.
d) Tell them to fill out a census form and put it in the box at the
back of church.
e) Try to remember their name in case you meet them again.
f) Say, “How nice.” Then go and talk to your friends
3. What is the first thing that a newcomer sees
when coming into your church on Sunday?
a) A welcoming committee.
b) A smiling face.
c) A half-empty church.
d) The notice board.
e) A closed door.
4. Do you have a team of people who welcome
before the Sunday Masses?
a) Yes we have a big team of great people trained to welcome.
b) Yes we generally have people on the door who are quite good.
c) Someone usually pushes a hymn book into my hand on Sunday morning.
d) There is a group who often block the doorway chatting to others.
e) No we like to watch people try to find the hymn books and Mass
sheets for themselves.
5. When you go to Mass do you?
a) Look for someone you don’t know and then sit with them.
b) Sit in the same place every week with the same people round you.
c) Find your friends and sit with them.
d) Look for an empty place furthest away from everyone else.
6. Someone you don’t know sits next to you at Mass. Do you?
a) Give them a big hug and tell them all about the parish.
b) Smile warmly and say hello.
c) Shuffle up the other way as far as possible
d) Pretend to pray
e) Assume that they usually go to one of the other Masses
f) Not even notice as the Church is full of people that you don’t
know.
7. A family with children move to the area and
come to Mass. Are they?
a) Contacted by someone to tell them about the various parish groups.
b) Given a booklet with the details of all the groups and the contact
numbers if they or their children want to join.
c) Left to ask the parish priest if there are any parish groups they
might be interested in.
d) Left to gradually find out what is going on in the parish.
e) Left to see the children going out for children’s liturgy
and not know what age group this is.
f) Assumed to be not interested in joining any groups.
8. A newcomer walks in to get a cup of coffee
after Mass. Are they?
a) Grabbed by the hand and introduced to everyone in the room.
b) Generally welcomed by someone and drawn into conversation.
c) Unable to penetrate the little cliques around the room and ignored.
d) Assumed to be in the wrong place as there is never any announcement
about coffee being available after Mass.
9. If you were running a course in your Church
hall. Would you?
a) Produce clear and attractive publicity material.
b) Put posters in the local schools, libraries or other places outside
the parish.
c) Make sure that everyone is welcomed as they arrive.
d) Decorate the hall to make it look attractive.
e) Just put a notice in the newsletter because that is what we always
do.
f) Just put out the chairs in rows facing the speaker because that
is quickest and easiest.
g) Expect people to put away their own chairs at the end.
In your Prayer Groups:
1. How do you encourage people to join?
a) Run Life in the Spirit seminars regularly and feed new people in
from there.
b) Advertise widely in the parish
c) Organise a social function and invite those interested to meet
the group.
d) Invite individuals that you feel would “fit in”.
e) We don’t because we are fine as we are and we don’t want
too many people.
2. Put yourself in the shoes of someone joining
your group. Would you?
a) Be welcomed, introduced and given an explanation of the format
of the meetings.
b) Be drawn into the meetings over a few weeks.
c) Take a while to find out what was going on and who everyone was.
d) Probably not have a clue what was going on or who they were talking
about.
e) No-one ever joins the group so it is not an issue.
3. How would a newcomer to your group find the
music?
a) They would be amazed at the angelic renderings!
b) It’s easy to join in as words are provided and we pick well-known
songs.
c) They would soon pick up the choruses.
d) They would be ok if they were used to charismatic gatherings in
the 70s and 80s.
e) It depends on their age!
f) What music?
4. At larger “renewal events” do you?
a) Ensure that “new people” are welcomed.
b) Use it as an opportunity to get to know people new to these events.
c) See it as a good time to catch up with people that you don’t
see very often.
d) Help on the team and are too busy to worry about any new people.
e) Use “in-jokes” and talk about local characters and ignore
any visitors.
5. If you have a visiting “VIP speaker”
and they arrive early do you?
a) Welcome them, offer them refreshments then find a quiet place for
them to prepare for the talk.
b) Use the time to tell them all about the problems with the local
situation.
c) Introduce them to as many people as possible so that you can get
on with your preparations.
d) Try not to impose as you are sure there will be someone there that
they know.
As you have seen there are no “right” or “wrong”
answers but some are definitely better than others! I’ll leave
you to work out where your group or parish could improve.
June Palmer works with the Catholic Evangelisation Services team
and has been looking at the area of hospitality for CaFE and home
groups.
How
Welcoming are YOU?