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Building relationships between the Generations Adam and Ann-Marie Sowerbutts, who are part of the Network, encourage us to build relationships across the generations so we can benefit from each other's gifts
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"Two different worlds" was the big selling point on a recent advert for a new family car. You may recall the ad - intended as a benefit, the car was designed so that the parents and the children could enjoy separate in-car entertainment. Although an undoubted attraction on long journeys, there is something surreal and a little bizarre about the urge to separate four people and two generations travelling together in the same six foot by four foot box. (Assuming, of course, that you're not reading this on the M25!!) Nowadays, more and more stridently, society emphasises the divide between generations. It has been said that the past is a foreign country; it seems we are now encouraged to believe that different age groups are separate nations, with no common language and no hope of a United Nations peace keeping force. The young are encouraged to go their own way, and the old to let them get on with it. This division is also something which, to a greater or lesser extent, affects those of us that polish the pews every Sunday. For a variety of reasons, it's a challenge that other denominations often address much better than "us Catholics". Our local (admittedly very blessed) Baptist Church has a cradle to grave approach to the congregation and goes out of its way to support, facilitate and encourage. Its active members are aged 8 to 80+. On the other hand, in our own ordinary, busy, welcoming parish at home, there is a hole, just about exactly the size and shape from that age group which is old enough to say "No Mum, I'm staying in bed today" right the way up to that which is old enough to say "Father, we'd like to ask you about a Christening..." Even in a reasonably healthy parish like ours, with initiatives addressing the social and liturgical sides of "Church", there is often little scope for sharing between generations the other, deeper, aspects of the spiritual journey, for learning together, showing solidarity and nurturing spiritual wisdom. In the Charismatic Renewal, however, we are extremely fortunate to not have suffered that typical "generation X" shaped age gap that often affects our parishes. Young people and adults alike have been supported, have had teaching and spiritual direction and have been encouraged to grow. Even so, this has tended to happen on a peer to peer basis and in isolation from other age groups, if only for purely logistical reasons. This leaves us looking at a situation where, perhaps the best we can hope for is a continued succession of spirit filled generations, but each generation doing its own work for its own time, a work that lives and dies with them. So there has to be more. The early church can not have operated like this, because it simply would not have survived so long. There is, of course, a natural reluctance of every generation to move out of its age group and comfort zone and a natural tendency to band together. It is not always easy to build relationships across the generations for all sorts of practical reasons. But is there anything we can or should do about it?
It was put quite beautifully during the worship at the recent "Gathering", a retreat at the House of the Open Door in the Cotswolds. Someone had the image of the kind of links we are looking to nurture as being like the timbers of the old tithe barn that we were meeting in. If you know the building, you will recall that in places, on top of the old wood, new timbers have been inserted, the new wood strengthening the old, the old supporting the new, together making the barn's great roof solid as a rock. Fifteen years ago. Network was focused on providing networking and support for younger leaders in the renewal. As time has passed, those originally involved have grown older, but their heart for youth and for the Church hasn't diminished - and a new generation of charismatic Catholics, alive and courageous for the Lord, has grown up. As one small part of the jigsaw, Network is now responding to the challenge of establishing solid cross-generational links and friendships in a number of ways. Each year, one of the main Network events is "The Gathering", a weekend retreat of seventy or so people, which takes place early in the New Year. Last year, for the first time, we focused on building these links, with students and young people in their late teens and early twenties mixing easily with the thirty and forty-somethings (and their three, four and five year olds!) The weekend proved a great hit, and friendships were made, and contacts established that might not have come out of any other setting - Although only a couple of days, it was a glimpse of a hopeful future for the modem church. We are planning to build on last year's Gathering with similar goals and a similar mixture of ages at this year's event on the weekend of 25th - 27th February 2005. The keynote speaker is Charles Whitehead.
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This
whole theme of cross-generational links and relationships is one of
the key areas that "Network", an organisation which, amongst
other things, promotes connections between individuals and groups within
the renewal, has been touched by the Spirit to address and respond to.
There is tremendous power and strength that flows out of cross-generational
links, whether in simple friendships, standing together in difficulties
or from more structured "mentoring" relationships. The wisdom
of experience and the enthusiasm of youth can be an incredible witness
and create a whole new dynamic for spreading the Good News and living
the Gospel journey. It's something which enriches, challenges and, not
least, supports all involved. If it were the movies, we'd be talking
not just about the wise old master instructing the novice, or the indulgent
grandparent delighting in a grandchild, but the insightful kids enthusing
their cranky elders and making them realise that there's much more to
be had out of life yet. There are, quite simply, some things on the
spiritual journey that we can't get from our peers.