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Shirley Harrington shares her reflections on retirement and slowing down and the way the Lord is drawing her more into prayer and contemplation.
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Prayer
and Contemplation|
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Having spent a very active life as a Catholic, especially being involved in the Renewal, I find myself vaguely guilty that I am now withdrawing more and more into meditation rather than being in the front line of Christian operation. My old attitude was "Here I am Lord, send me!" (Isaiah 6:8). I was eager to be doing something important for the kingdom. Often, when thinking about the horrendous abuses suffered by children, prisoners, the homeless and so on I would say, "What can I DO Lord, what do you want me to DO?" And again and again the answer was always in my mind: "Nothing. Let me help you to get closer to me." Since my retirement and the last of my family leaving home, I now have the time and peace to concentrate on contemplation and prayer. At the very time when I have less and less physical energy I find my spiritual energy growing and prayer becoming more powerful as I allow God the time to give me the "mind of Christ". When a prayer is not answered in the way I hoped, I'm increasingly realising that it is going to be responded to in a different way and stop worrying. Perhaps this is what Paul means by "the peace that passes all understanding" (Phil 4.7). I hope so, it's great. What a shame that it has taken all my life and a lot of wasted effort to get to this stage! I'm reminded of seeing in a French kitchen once, a woman making pea soup. She simply plunged a slim electric whisk with tiny blades into the middle of an enormous pan of cooked peas and held it there whilst laughing and chatting. A moment later I was surprised to see the whole mass slowly revolving in the pan though she never moved the whisk around but simply held it stationary at the very centre. Not only that, the next time I looked, the whole panful had become a smooth puree! This image came to me as I was pondering upon my present prayer life. Those of us whom God is calling to a life of prayer may become little centres of power, influencing everyone around us by becoming still and letting the Lord come to us and change us and heal us and clear a path in us so that he can surge through us and bring nearer, His Kingdom. "Need for listeners in the Spirit" There is of course nothing new about learning to be still. In every time, culture and spiritual movement there have always been "wise" men and women who calmly spend their lives seeking enlightenment: the Desert Fathers, the Russian staretz, Julian of Norwich, or our own Padre Pio. They didn't physically take their messages to people, instead, people generally made their way to them. I see a role here for those who are sick or imprisoned in some way. There is a need not only for intercessors but "listeners" - those who will listen in the Spirit and pass on what they hear. As a professional listener I learned that people were often helped to healing simply by my listening to them. I would also say that in listening, really listening to people I was in a mysterious way listening to God. So I see a new way is perhaps coming to counter our soul-sick society's pain. By answering the call to "be still and know that I am God" (Psalms 46:10), we can empower the work of others by our prayer. For instance Jeanne Jurgan, founder of the Little Sisters of the Poor in 19th century France - after heroic work setting up foundations which spread across Europe, was abruptly supplanted by an officious priest who proclaimed himself the Founder of the order. She was relegated to a lowly post in the Mother House where she became unrecognised and forgotten. This could be seen as the final sacrifice demanded by God, but now I understand it differently. Even though Jeanne was still capable of rendering great active service to her congregation, her premature "retirement" meant she was able to spend hours in the presence of God and her prayer had far-reaching effects on the life of her congregation. So now, I am content to sit, like the small whisk in the pan of peas and learn how to let God actually get to work on me. If I feel that the Lord has given me a specific burden of prayer for someone or something I will institute a mild fast, such as two small meals a day. Others in my (rather elderly) prayer group sacrifice tea, coffee or a night of television watching, depending on their individual situation. We have had many answers to prayers by supporting each other on the same day in fasting and intercession. As we hand over responsibility for active outreach and evangelisation into younger hands we find that the Lord has an equally vital role for us to assume. What immense power for change this promises if we all begin to "let go and let God".
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