|
Learning to listen to the Lord
Madeleine O'Connell, who lives in Putney, encourages us to listen to the Lord by recounting a moving story that happened to her some years ago, which highlights God's love for hurting people.
|
|
|
It was about ten years ago, and I
had been baptised in the Spirit about 5-6 years. Over the years I had
learnt from the ladies' prayer group I attended and from being with
Linda Schubert, a friend of mine, the importance of really listening
to God. It always used to strike me when I went shopping with Linda
that before buying anything, Linda would always say to the Lord "Do
you want us to buy this or not?" It really brought it home to me
that God is our Father who is interested in every part of our lives
and we could talk to Him about everything, and that we should listen
to what he wants us to do. This was also underlined for me by a book
I was reading by Fr Ian Petit OSB. Too often, Fr Ian said, we tend to
say "Lord, Listen to me, I 'm praying" when we should be saying
"Lord speak, your servant is listening." At the time I was
thus trying to put this idea of listening to the Lord into practice. "Step out in faith and take a risk" Immediately my attention was drawn back to the talk, which I hadn't been listening to until this point. The speaker then said, "Sometimes when we are living by faith, we have to step out and take a risk". This was my confirmation and I knew then I had to go. I signalled to a couple of my friends that I was leaving, and two of them came over and discreetly prayed for me. Afterwards I set out, praying in tongues all the way, and wondering what I was going to find when I got to my destination. When I arrived at South Kensington, everything looked very normal, there was nobody who looked in need. I started to feel rather foolish and a bit conspicuous standing there on my own so decided to go and buy a paper at the newsagent. But as I walked over, I received another prompting from the Lord and the inner voice said "Don't buy a newspaper, buy a sandwich, a drink and a bar of chocolate." Even the items weren't things I would normally buy, but I did, and the shopkeeper put them all in a brown paper bag for me. I was about to walk out of the nearest exit, when once again I felt the Lord telling me to go in the opposite direction towards Thurloe Square. I felt the doubt rising in me. Thurloe Square was for rich people and hardly the place to find someone in need. But I continued to follow what seemed like the Lord's promptings. "I'm hungry" I walked to the end of the street, with its beautiful houses and gracious gardens, and was almost giving up when suddenly a woman jumped up at me from a doorstep. "Can you give me something to eat?" she asked, "I'm hungry." Immediately I handed her the brown paper bag. She looked astonished. I told her the story of how I had come to be there. She couldn't believe it. "Could I have some hot soup too?" she asked. It was a cold day and seeing a nearby restaurant I suggested that we go in there and I would treat her. But she refused. I realised she felt embarrassed because she was very dirty and smelled of alcohol and urine. "I can't pray, I'm bad" I decided to chance it and went into the restaurant and persuaded them to give me some soup to take away, which they normally didn't do but very kindly did that day. I realised that because of her situation, the woman needed more than food. She needed to have a bit of her dignity restored, so I felt it was important not just to leave, but to keep her company while she ate. "Shall we say a prayer of blessing before you eat?" I suggested, as we sat down at a nearby bus stop. "I can't pray because I'm bad," she said. "I don't go to church and the priest threw me out because I am too bad." "That's ridiculous." I told her, "Jesus didn't come for saints, but for all of us sinners." So we said a prayer and she ate her meal. When she had finished I asked her if she would like me to say a prayer before I went, and if so, what would she like me to pray for? She told me that she slept in the lavatory of the tube station and she was afraid of two boys who slept next door to her, as they would throw things at her. So I prayed for her protection and that God would keep her safe. I asked her if she would like prayer to help her with her drink problem. "No", she said, "I need the drink to help keep me warm." I suggested thus that we should just pray for the Lord's will to be done in her life. When I finished, I asked her if she would do me a favour. She agreed. "Will you say a little prayer every day?" "I don't know how to," she replied. "Just say every morning, "Jesus I love you," I told her and I asked her if she could repeat it for me. At this she began to pray "Jesus I love you and I want to thank you for this person who had time for me, who not only gave me some food but who sat with me while I was eating." "Following the Lord's leading" Her words brought tears to my eyes. She looked at me. "Can I come with you?" I explained gently that it wasn't possible. And it is one of the difficulties in dealing with vulnerable people, the tension between being compassionate but being able to keep realistic boundaries. I was helped, however, by knowing that although the Lord had prompted me to leave the church meeting to minister to her, that was all he was asking of me. The Lord was her saviour not me, and I just had to follow His leading and do what he asked me to and trust Him with the rest. We also have to remember that we are part of the Lord's body and it's together we do the Lord's work not on our own. On another occasion, for example, some years previously when I was living in Fiji, I was on my way to the hairdressers. I was running late, when I saw this very disturbed woman, yelling and screaming obscenities and looking quite demonic. I was torn between getting to my appointment on time and stopping to do something about it, so I compromised. I was quite far away, so I just started praying in tongues for the situation and discreetly lifted my hand to take authority over the situation. Suddenly the woman stopped. It was if she had physically felt the power of the tongues touching her. She turned her head round, looked me in the eyes. She began marching towards me pointing her finger at me. It was a bit scary and I knew I had to do something. So asking the Lord to protect me, when she was about a yard away, I raised my hand and said in a loud voice "Be healed of your speech in the name of Jesus." Amazingly, she instantly bowed her head and said quietly and reverently "Jesus is Lord". At that point a couple of men with bibles who had been watching appeared and they took over allowing me to continue on to my hairdressing appointment. For me tongues is such an awesome gift. When I use it I know I can't make a mistake because my spirit and God's are one, and He knows what the right thing to do is in every situation, and by praying in tongues, it helps me, consciously or not, to align myself to his will and be directed by him.
|
|
|
 |
