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Facing Old Age... ... and Preparing for Heaven
Dom Benedict Heron OSB, who is 84, reflects on sickness and old age and how to make the most of it!
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The righteous flourish like
the palm tree … Quite a number of us who became involved in the Catholic Charismatic Renewal in the early days are now into old age. Indeed an increasing number of the early pioneers have already passed on to their heavenly reward, for example, two of my fellow Benedictines, Abbot Parry and Ian Petit. I have been asked to write a short piece on the subject of old age, and at 84 I write as someone personally involved, although I am gratefully aware that my problems are much less than those of many other people. This last week I found that I had put my eye drops into my ears on one occasion - a distraction of old age. I sometimes tell people that my memory for names is so bad that every morning I have to look up in my diary to see what I am called, and when, after 2 hours, I find my diary I forget why I wanted it! As to forgetting names or other things, do not be embarrassed about it. That is where we are at our time of life and let us humbly accept the fact. Alleluia! The whole perspective of the New Testament is that God created us to go to heaven when we have finished our job on earth, and we should be looking forward to going to our heavenly home when we have completed our task on earth. St Paul wrote: "We would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord" (2 Corinthians 5: 8); and "my desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better, but to remain in the flesh is more necessary for you" (Philippians 1: 23). We must trust that every day that God gives us on earth is an opportunity for bearing fruit for His Kingdom, whatever the circumstances. It may be very difficult to believe this at times, but if we trust, love, and accept as best we can, our lives will be truly fruitful and meaningful. Redemptive suffering can be an important part of this, but we should not only think in terms of redemptive suffering. I find that older members of our prayer groups are often exercising wonderful ministries of intercession. Maybe they can no longer get to the prayer meetings, but their lives are beautifully fruitful through prayer. They have more time for prayer and also a more loving heart as they get closer to Jesus. Older people can often contribute through their wisdom. However it is important to be humble about that. Avoid infallibility complexes! Because something was the right course of action twenty years ago, it does not automatically mean that it is the right solution for today. The Holy Spirit does not stand still and neither should we. Our favourite hymns of twenty years ago may not always be right for today. "Fear of the Future" Fear of the future in one way or another probably comes at times to nearly everyone in old age. We may be looking forward to going "home" - and that in itself is a real grace - but we may also be anxious about things we may have to cope with on the way. For example, how would we manage if we lose our sight, our hearing, our ability to walk, our control of bladder or bowels, and our memory? How will we manage if we are reduced to real poverty and the loss of our home or the loss of our spouse of many years? How will we cope with loneliness? I think we are right to follow the charismatic tradition of praying for healing, protection, and for all our spiritual and material needs. And I think if we do pray, and get others to pray, then some misfortunes are considerably less likely to happen. However we should pray against the background of accepting God's holy will whatever it is and offering up our sufferings - and also our joys. It is important to remember that God will only give us the grace to support our trials when the trials actually come on us, not beforehand. So we have to live trusting that Jesus will always give us the strength and grace we need when the time comes. "Growth in Humility" Old age will normally bring with it some humiliations. It is humiliating when we cannot bath ourselves or get to the loo in time, when we cannot remember who an old friend is, when we are dependent on other people to help us to get dressed or read for us, when other people simply ignore us. Humiliations are a wonderful opportunity for growing in humility. Humiliations do not automatically produce humility - they may make us angry and bitter. But by the grace of God the humiliations of old age can result in wonderful growth in humility. Indeed I would say that because pride goes so deep in us fallen human beings, none of us will grow all that much in humility if we never experience humiliations. When we read the lives of the saints we invariably find they went through very real humiliations at times. The Cure' d'Ars was considered too stupid to become a priest! So let us praise God for our humiliations, even when we strive and pray to overcome some of them. (I pray daily to avoid what may be called "loo accidents".) Now for an important subject linked with old age, death, my death, your death. As Christians, how long should we want to go on living? As long as possible? No. Until we have finished our task on earth? Yes. One gets the impression that for many people including some Christians death is the great enemy, to be postponed as long as possible in all circumstances. The gospel perspective, however, surely is that death is hopefully the doorway into heaven, perhaps via further healing in purgatory. If we are looking forward to going to heaven, which as Christians we should be, then death is not the enemy, but the friend leading us to Jesus and the Father, and to our family and friends who have gone home before us. As a Catholic I am of course entirely against euthanasia, and it seems that the danger of euthanasia is growing all the time. The Christian answer to euthanasia is not however to try to keep everyone alive until the last possible minute. When my mother was peacefully dying in a nursing home at the age of 94 and looking forward to joining her husband in heaven, she could doubtless have been kept alive for quite a time if she had been put in an intensive care unit and every effort had been made to keep her alive. But how stupid, unkind, and wasteful of NHS resources that would have been! An excellent book was published in 1979 in the USA, Healing the Dying. Releasing People to Die, by two Jesuit priests Matthew Linn, SJ, Dennis Linn SJ, and their cousin, a religious sister, Mary Jane Linn CSJ (Paulist Press, obtainable from Goodnews Books 01582 571011 - priced at £6.99+ £1 for p&p). The authors say that sometimes it is the right time for people to die, but they are clinging on to life because they have some "unfinished business". This could be, for example, fear of death, fear of judgement, the need to forgive someone, to be reconciled. With the help of prayer and the right Christian counselling they can be helped to complete their "unfinished business" and thus be released to go to the Father. When my physical health collapsed 4 ? years ago I prayed frequently, "Lord, if it is to the advantage of your kingdom, come take me soon." I still sometimes pray that prayer, but rightly or wrongly I have the impression that I have not yet entirely completed my work on this earth. I think that just as it is right sometimes to pray for a physical healing miracle for a dying person, but subject to "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven", so also I think it can be right to pray "Lord, come soon", but again subject to "Thy will be done". I think, for example, of someone dying painfully of cancer, or dementia cases. I have come across remarkable answers to the prayer, "Lord, come soon." "Time of Spiritual Growth" Old age can be a wonderful time of spiritual growth and of thanksgiving. I think of people who have come back to their Christian faith after lapsing for many years. I personally find that old age is a time for thanking God for many blessings that we have just taken for granted, or indeed forgotten. Thank God for my Christian parents. There have been so many blessings over the years. There was the Methodist schoolmaster who strengthened my Christian faith, the old friend of my family who gave me money for books when I was studying for the priesthood, and then the many people who have prayed for me over the years. Finally of course there are the major Christian blessings. Thank the Father for having created us, thank Jesus for having saved us, thank the Holy Spirit for coming to us, and for his gifts, thank Our Lady for being a spiritual mother for us. Thank God for the support and protection of the Angels. Thank God also for the trials of life, for life is not meant to be all easy. Alleluia. Alleluia. Alleluia.
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