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Fasting from criticism
Fr Pat Collins C.M., author and retreat leader from Dublin, tells of the amazing fruit that follows a decision, by a prayer group, to never criticise each other.
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Over the years, Parish Renewal programmes have been used in many Dioceses in America, Britain and Ireland. Writing about their efficacy, Fr. Vince Dwyer once observed that, research in Catholic contexts had indicated that mutual distrust between bishops, priests, and lay people was the main impediment to progress. Typically, it was evoked by things such as criticism, broken promises, individualism and resentments. I'm quite convinced that mistrust is also one of the most corrosive problems afflicting the Charismatic Renewal. In this article I want to share a way in which it can be overcome. A number of years ago, I belonged to a large prayer group. At one point, sixteen of the more experienced members decided to form an auxiliary community group which would meet on a different night. At the inaugural gathering I gave a keynote address which suggested that we should aim to live like the early Christians as depicted in Acts 4:32-36. Through the power of the Holy Spirit they had realized the ancient Greek ideal of friendship by being conformed to the mind and heart of Christ while having all things in common. When I asked for reactions, I was disappointed to find that many of those present thought that this ideal was far too demanding. Happily, however, one of the chief objectors got a word of knowledge. He said, that if we read Sir 6:14-18, we would get God's perspective on the issue. I quickly found the passage. It was about friendship! "Commitment to stop criticisinq others" Some time later, during a memorable meeting, one member of the Community group read Lk 6:36-39 and shared how this passage, about unconditional mercy, had inspired her. Then she spontaneously knelt on the floor and said: "I promise to refrain from criticizing, judging or condemning anyone in this group, either in thought or word. If I break this promise, I will publicly confess my fault and seek forgiveness." There was a stunned silence. Then, one by one, everyone present, freely knelt down and made the same promise. That Spirit prompted agreement had remarkable effects. Firstly, Jesus assured us that, "whatever measure you use in giving - large or small - it will be used to measure what is given back to you " Lk 6:38. Justifying grace, as we well know, is not the fruit of good works. Although this unmerited gift of God is always freely available to us, we only experience its liberating power in so far as we put aside the scales of justice, by refraining from, judging, condemning or resenting other people while offering them the undeserved gift of our merciful love. Like a sanctuary lamp within, members of the community group continued to be consciously aware of God's saving grace as long as we maintained a merciful attitude. "Trust levels grew" Secondly, our trust levels grew greatly. As a result we felt more closely united than ever before. We were no longer afraid that anyone would talk or think in a critical way about us, behind our backs. Our community group became a place of psychological safety where each person could blossom, by being his or her own true self. Thirdly, while we had always been committed to praising the Lord, when we became more united, there was more joy. A new gift of enthusiastic praise was released, one which was both loud and long. Some of our favourite scriptural verses were from Sir 43:31-34 which encourage people to redouble their praises, because God is more than worthy of all the appreciation we can express. "Growth in spiritual qifts" Fourthly, although we had often desired the gifts of the Spirit, only a few of them had been granted to us. But when we made love our aim by agreeing to fast from criticism and to praise God with conviction, all the gifts described in 1 Cor 12:8-10 were poured out on different members of the group, including the gifts of prophecy and healing.
Fifthly, we also found that, as our unity of mind and heart increased, we not only got more opportunities to evangelise as individuals and as a group, but our attempts to spread the good news were more effective. I can remember one parish mission we conducted in the mountains of Tyrone which was anointed, from beginning to end, even to the point of miracles. As Acts 4:33 attests, fruitful evangelization is not only energized by loving communities, they bear experiential witness to the truth of the message that is preached. "Difference between judging and criticising" Over the years I have discovered a number of implications that follow from these points. As soon as I stopped criticising members of my group, in either thought or word, I also found that I began to stop criticising people outside the group such as relatives, workmates and people in the media. While I may have to judge what they do, I try to refrain from judging them. It's a matter of hating the sin but loving the sinner. I have also found that, to stop criticising others, I have had to stop mentally criticising myself. Nowadays, if I make a mistake, I try not to mutter such things as, "you stupid idiot!" Members of any group will inevitably let one another down, either as a result of weakness or malice. In cases like these, it is important to devise ways of resolving conflicts in a constructive manner. For example, every now and then, a trained facilitator could be invited to help the members of the group to talk about their grievances in an open rather than an accusatory way. Ideally, whenever conflicts arise, the members of the group should be willing go to one another to explain how they feel and why. Then, when necessary, forgiveness can be either asked for, or offered. "Be of one mind" St Paul once wrote, "Dear brothers and sisters in
Christ, I appeal to You by the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ to
stop arguing among yourselves. Let there be real harmony so that there
won't be divisions in the community. I plead with you to be of one mind,
united in thought and purpose" 1 Cor 1:10.1 know from experience
that when the members of Charismatic groups, of whatever kind, have
made an agreement like the one mentioned above, it has not only been
in accord with the will of God, it has also borne abundant fruit, especially
that of effective evangelization. If your prayer meeting, core group,
service committee or community agree, following prayerful discussion
and discernment, to make a promise based on Lk 6:36-39, do write back
to Goodnews and tell us about it. .
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