I was recently talking to a woman who told me something of her story. She’d had an interesting life something akin to the story of the Samaritan woman.

She told me how her parents rejected her and of her strict upbringing in her grandmother’s house where she was regularly beaten for even the most minor of misdemeanours.

She talked of the pain of isolation and the walls of hostility she built up around herself. Eventually she found herself in a young offender’s institution with her life spiralling out of control. When she was released she found herself in a homeless hostel. The story went on, drugs and alcohol strangling the life out of her until the day she cried out to God.

She went on to tell me of the Mercy of God who had met her in her brokenness and who had turned her around and she now works with young offenders. The most challenging thing she said to me was this. She said ‘you know if I focused on the mess that has been my life then I would never get out of bed in the morning, but my mess can be used to draw others to God and so my life has purpose.’

Disciples are called to risk and trust

If you can have a favourite Gospel then I find myself drawn towards Luke and particularly towards his understanding of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Whenever I preach on or write about Luke’s calling of the disciples I always find myself thinking of the risking and trusting that’s involved in discipleship but having listened to that woman’s story I found myself drawn to Simon Peter and his words ‘leave me Lord, I’m a sinful man.’ Sometimes it’s easier to focus on how bad we are than to recognise that with all the mess that is our lives we are called, chosen to proclaim Good News.

I was reminded of the words that Nelson Mandela used in his inauguration speech quoting Marianne Williamson when he said ‘We ask ourselves who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.’

Brokenness is not a problem for God

Sometimes we can use our mess as an excuse not to get involved in proclaiming the Gospel. We create a distance between ourselves and God as a way of avoiding investing ourselves in the Gospel. So yes we’ll do our religious thing but we won’t get involved in anything else because we feel we’re not good enough or able enough or educated enough. We say we’re too sinful or our lives are too broken. Sometimes through this we let ourselves be overwhelmed by self pity. It’s the very subtle way the ego works, whereby we focus on ourselves rather than looking outwards and hearing the call. I sometimes think Jesus looks at us and says ‘and…?’

That mentality is our problem and not God’s. When Simon says “leave me Lord I am a sinful man”, Jesus ignores what he says completely because our brokenness and mess and sinfulness are only a problem if we let them be. If we want to grow spiritually there is a need to acknowledge and face what goes on in our lives and our need for conversion and healing. That’s key to change and growth. But being aware of our brokenness and sinfulness shouldn’t stop us following the Lord and doing incredible things. Pray everyday for the strength to proclaim the kingdom, to take the opportunities that we’re given to bring life to someone else.

We have a job to do so don’t be overwhelmed by your self. Trust that grace is enough and that God is comfortable with sinful broken people and let’s get on with what we’re called to do.

Fr Chris Thomas heads up the Irenaeus Project. He is a member of the Emmaus Family of Prayer and a priest of the Liverpool Diocese.